Question

Is it permissible for a mufti or male to text his female cousins with advice, even though they are married and husband dislikes it.its done because by the male because they are cousins and he views it as family ties.

Is it considered breaking family ties if a person doesnt attend mixed gatherings or talks to wife aunts and female cousins?

Answer

Bismillahi Ta’ala

Assalamu alaikum Warahmatullah,

Ulama' and Muftiyaan (s. Mufti) are the heirs of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam. People hold ulama' as an example to lead in their life. Hence the need for ulama' to uphold the shi'aar (salient features) and law of Allah is much more than the general people.

Shariah does not apply any differently to a Mufti in comparison to a general person. The same command of abstaining unnecessary interaction from non-mahram, also applies to the Mufti or any Alim as well.

Take a look at this hadeeth from Sahih al Bukhari:

The people of Quraish worried about the lady from Bani Makhzum who had committed theft. They asked, “Who will intercede for her with Rasulullah?” Some said, “No one dare to do so except Usama bin Zaid the beloved one to Rasulullah.”

When Usama spoke about that to Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, (to him), “Do you try to intercede for somebody in a case connected with Allah’s Prescribed Punishments?” Then he got up and delivered a sermon saying, “What destroyed the nations preceding you, was that if a noble amongst them stole, they would forgive him, and if a poor person amongst them stole, they would inflict Allah’s Legal punishment on him.

By Allah, if Fatima, the daughter of Muhammad stole, I would cut off her hand.”

If the prophet of Allah salallahu alayhi wasallam is willing to establish a hadd (punishment) on his own daughter, is it even conceivable that the heirs of his knowledge would gain a different treatment.

Maintaining ties within family is a commandment of Allah, and is confined within the parameters of or shari'ah. Any unnecessary interaction which occurs between non mahram gives way for Shaytan to work his plot. It does not matter whether such a person is a wali of Allah or general layman. If any, the pious heirs of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam need to worry more since Shaytan has declared these heirs to be his open target.

If for any reason, while maintaining ties within the family, a person has to interact with a non mahram female, then it should be from behind the curtain, in a monotonous tone and to the level of necessity. As a mufti, one should inculcate the islamic value system within the family. If the Mufti himself will start engaging openly like any other person, even to extent of sending private messages, then what example can he set for the masses to follow?

Remember the advice of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam, "The world is a prison for the believer and a paradise for a disbeliever." In this prison, we are confined by the restriction of Shariah. If we justify and start trampling these restrictions, then what can be said about our allegiance towards the commandments of Allah.

If we look at the examples of family ties being encouraged in ahadeeth, we will realize that they do not warrant an informal engagement and interaction between genders. At most a general relationship can be upheld between non-mahram families. Engaging and intermingling mix gatherings, and texting them especially when their husbands do not approve of it, is not only endangering the very sanctity of the ties one wish to maintain, rather also jeopardizes the family life of those cousins.

If the scholar wishes to teach and advise his family, he may do so in an open forum where the message goes to multiple recipients in a group. Abstain from private messaging as much as possible. Only if there is a “need” of messaging, should the text be sent. If the non mahram party seeks some shar'i ruling, then she should be responded in the same manner any other non-mahram would be answered. Such straight forward and direct assistance is not contrary to keeping family ties. Great care should be kept for a Mufti, since his actions lay precedence for the other to follow.

Do not take this guidance as a means to criticize the scholar or hurl mean remarks towards him. One should be extremely polite and diplomatic in relaying the right message. And always seek Allah's guidance through du'a for the betterment of oneself and others.

And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Mufti Faisal al Mahmudi