Question:

Hello, I am really interest in Islam and there is so much peace in it. But There are few things confusing me. Why are men favoured with rewards? For example, I am reading on Islamic websites that Allah favours men over women in paradise because he grants them a reward that is not granted to women which is having many beautiful spouses, but women only have one spouse and there is one an exclusive reward for men but no exclusive rewards to women. From this my understanding, it seems that all rewards granted to women are granted to men, but not all rewards granted to men are given to women, or at least they are not rewarded as much as men for their worship.

So for example, if a man and a woman both have 10000 deeds, let’s say each gets the same number and quality of palace, garden, rivers, so in all of that they are equal, but the man will be given many wives (for example 10) and the women is given only one husband, so even though both have the same level of piety, the man got given more rewards than the woman by 9. Does the woman get compensate with more of another form or reward? Otherwise, who can it be justice that even though both have the same number of good deeds the man got more?

Answer:

In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ʿalā man itabʿa al-hudā

Dear sister, we are overjoyed to hear of your interest in Islām. We sincerely pray that Allāh guides us all and keeps us steadfast on the truth. We pray that the more you learn, the more the beauty of Islām will dawn upon your heart.

To answer your questions, three points must be kept in mind:

1. It is necessary to view Islām holistically. It is a difficult task, and you have made great strides in this direction. Your question shows the depth of your studies of Islām.  As you progress in your study of Islām, it will become apparent that one (or even a few) verse(s) of Qurʾān or saying(s) of the Prophet (peace be upon him) cannot be taken to encompass all aspects of a subject.
2. Paradise is not limited to nor is subject to the physical constraints and laws of this world.
3. The Qurʾān and sayings of the Prophet (peace be upon him) usually explain things in a general manner. In other words, in a way that applies to most people.

Taking all of the verses and sayings of the Prophet (peace be upon him) about the rewards of Paradise into consideration, we can say that the verses that summarize them are:

“You will have everything you desire and ask for as a welcoming gift from the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful One.” (41:31-32)

“Enter Paradise, you and your spouses, rejoicing. Golden trays and cups will be passed around to them. There will be whatever the souls desire and the eyes delight in. And you will be there forever.” (43:70-71)

We learn from these verses that we will have whatever we desire in Paradise. We know this because Allāh is the Most Merciful. He will take care of both men and women in accordance with their desires and needs. The life that awaits women in Jannah will be just as blissful as it will be for men.

However, keeping in mind point #2, we must realize that since Paradise is beyond the realm of our current worldly restrictions. Therefore, the perceived fruits of Paradise do not necessarily correspond to the paradigm of this worldly life. We are actually given a taste of this concept in this world.

Consider a scenario in which one person is given a dozen apples. Their enjoyment experienced from eating apples is limited. They eat more and more hoping to be satiated, yet even after finishing all twelve of the apples, they remain unsatiated and still desire more. On the other hand, another person is given only one apple, but they experience such enjoyment in it that they are completely satiated after eating it and do not desire any more.

As for the specific reward mentioned in your question, this goes back to point #3. The nature of men is such that one of their greatest desires/motivations is women. This is true for the vast majority of men, and generally, there is not much variance between them. On the other hand, the things that women desire and are motivated by are more varied and nuanced. If you were to ask 100 men and 100 women to anonymously write down what their greatest desire is, you will see that most men will write down women, whereas you will find many different answers amongst the women. (A few scholars have actually done this experiment, and this was the result!).

For this reason, the reward of multiple wives is mentioned – it is a motivating factor that will appeal to most men. This in no way means that rewards will not be customized in such a way that each and every inhabitant of Paradise will be happy. For example, the Prophet (peace be upon him) mentions that one man in Paradise will ask to farm. Allāh will ask him if the reason for this is that he is not enjoying the pleasures of Paradise. The man will respond that that is not the case – he simply likes to farm.[1] While there is at least one person in Paradise who will have this reward, it is only mentioned scarcely because it is not a common desire, and therefore, most people will not be motivated by it. Because women are more nuanced, there is not a one-size-fits-all reward that can be mentioned for them. Instead, the Qurʾān suffices by saying that you will have whatever you desire.

Keeping this in mind, if we look at this specific issue, it becomes clear that a male being given many wives does not establish there being more satisfaction or satiation from them. While Allāh offers multiple rewards of a singular nature to men, their satiation may very well be less than the satiation of what a woman enjoys and cherishes from just one husband. Additionally, the desires of inhabitants of Paradise will all be in line with the natural human disposition, untainted by the influences and biases of this world. They will not desire anything in Paradise that is contrary to the natural human disposition.

Moreover, since the rules of world do not apply, it is very possible that two individuals may be living together in Paradise, but both of them are individually experiencing a different rank/level. The delight gained from one moment spent as a wife to one man may tower over the enjoyment her husband gains from spending 100 years with multiple wives. It is these variables and nuances which will make the lives of Paradise satisfactory for each person at his or her level.

Our sincere advice is that we shouldn’t concern ourselves with how many rewards men and women will get relative to one another.  We are each entitled and responsible for our own deeds. We must concentrate on being pious and following Allāh’s commands. By doing this, we hope to achieve Paradise knowing that, as true believers, we will be happy to receive whatever awaits us because we know that Allāh will provide what is best for us.

And Allāh Taʿālā Knows Best

Muftī Mohammed Wahaajuddin
Farmington Hills, Michigan, USA

Checked and Approved by:

Muftī Faisal bin Abdul Hamīd al-Mahmūdī
Darul Iftaa Canada (www.fatwa.ca)

[1] Sahih al-Bukhari 2348 – Agriculture – كتاب المزارعة – Sunnah.com – Sayings and Teachings of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم)