Question

A brother approached me for advice; his sister is committing zina with a man, although she’s currently engaged and soon to be married to another man. Her brother advised her repeatedly but she doesn’t listen and keeps fornicating. The brother is desperate and unsure on what he should do, should he tell the man she’s engaged to that he shouldn’t marry her, or what should he do?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ʿalaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

As per Sharia law, it is of the utmost importance to uphold the reputation of a believer, maintain their privacy, and safeguard their honor at all times.

Allah Ta’ala says,

عن عبد الله بن عباس رضي الله عنه عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: (من ستر عورة أخيه المسلم ستر الله عورته يوم القيامة، ومن كشف عورة أخيه المسلم كشف الله عورته، حتى يفضحه بها في بيته) (رواه ابن ماجه)

Abdullah Ibn Abbas rd narrates that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“Whoever conceals the (hidden) fault of his Muslim brother, Allah Ta’ala will conceal his faults on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever exposes the fault of his Muslim brother, Allah will expose his faults, even if he may be sitting (in seclusion) in his (own) house.” (Ibn Majah)[1]

However, in such a scenario wherein another person’s life, honor, wealth, religion, or safety may be at risk, it becomes necessary to inform them of the potential danger.

عن جابر رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: المجالس بالأمانة إلا ثلاثةَ مجالس: سفك دمٍ حرام، أو فَرْج حرام، أو اقتطاع مالٍ بغير حق.

Jabir ibn Abdullah rd narrates that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Gatherings are to be kept confidential except for three gatherings:

1.) those held for the purpose of unlawful shedding of blood,

2.) to facilitate fornication,

3.) or for the usurpation of wealth that rightfully belongs to someone else.”[2]

So we can see here that that gathering in which fornication or adultery is mentioned and exposed, and it is something that will bring harm upon an individual or the society, then there is no confidentiality or concealment in such a gathering.

As a first step, since the brother has repeatedly advised her, he should give his sister an ultimatum and final warning, letting her know he cares about her life and future.

He should admonish her that continuing such behavior can destroy her marriage and prevent her from finding a suitable partner in the future, and this addiction and sinful life may persist even after marriage, potentially leading to a lifetime of misery. Tell her you will be forced to inform the fiancé of her actions if she doesn’t stop.

Another point to take into consideration is that Allah Ta’ala has declared that the fornicating woman is not a kufu’ (compatible) for a righteous and chaste man and vice-versa.

الْخَبِيثَاتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَالْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَاتِ ۖ وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ (26)

“The unchaste women are for the unchaste men, and the unchaste men are for the unchaste women. And chaste women are for the chaste men, and the chaste men are for the chaste women…”

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: تَخَيَّرُوا لِنُطَفِكُمْ وَانْكِحُوا الأَكْفَاءَ وَأَنْكِحُوا إِلَيْهِمْ (رواه ابن ماجة)

Umm al-Mu’minīn, Sayyida A’ishah rd narrates that the Messenger of Allah said: “Select the best wives for your future progeny, marry those who are compatible to you, and propose marriage to them.”[3]

Hence, because kafā’ah is essential for a marriage’s validity and perpetuity, both partners must be legally compatible. This doesn’t mean that the marriage will not be valid if a person marries someone incompatible; however, from the legal standpoint, the guardians and those responsible can have a say in dissolving the marriage if they deem so in case of legal incompatibility. Even though this is not the case here, marrying someone who is inclined towards an immoral lifestyle will definitely bring about serious problems in the future, nonetheless.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Maulana Tameem Ahmadi
Union City, CA.
U.S.A

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Faisal bin Abdul Hamīd al-Mahmudi
www.fatwa.ca

[1] Sunan Ibn Majah: #2456

[2] Abu Da’ūd #4869

[3]  Sunan Ibn Majah #1968